plagiarism

i write you poems to show my love
but then i hide them from you
and i know it may not make sense to others
i don't do it because i fear your reaction
i'm sure you would at least
pretend to like them
i don't do it because i fear
you'll misunderstand my words
i could always explain myself
and make you see what i meant
i hide my poems from you
because no matter how much i trust you
i can never forget
hearing my hard found words of love
falling from your lips
to her ears

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Well, hell...I was in a good mood. I really thought I was over that one...*sigh*

Lifted Up

I remembered you in my prayers.
I don't know you well,
Not really at all.
But I cried when I thought
Of how you hurt.
I didn't cause your pain,
But I have caused the same pain
For others.
And so,
I prayed for you.
I prayed for
Comfort,
Strength,
And healing.
I prayed that someday soon,
When you're ready,
That true love will find you.
That you will find the happiness
That I know you deserve.
I prayed that you will be patient
And wait -
That the pain you feel now,
Is only
Preparing you
For better things.
I remembered you in my prayers
Because
I've caused the pain you feel;
I've felt the pain you feel.
But also because
I know that sometimes
It just isn't meant to be
No matter how badly
You wanted it.
I know that sometimes
Destiny
Denies you what you want
To give you what you need.
And it's far better.

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Vision

I saw the truth...
I saw beyond the stars...
I saw what others
Could not,
Would not,
See.
I saw what was beyond...
And somehow,
It made sense
That it was
Nothing.

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

From A Distance

I guess my writing makes it
Easy to see
From the outside.
And so removed...
I wonder
Which is sadder?
The fact that I'm so desperate?
Or
The fact that you don't see it?

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

No More...

I just wonder
What you'd think,
If you knew,
How many times
I regretted
Making that promise.
I really do love you...
But I really don't want
To be here anymore...
It just
Hurts too much.
I'm sorry.
But you shouldn't
Worry too much.
I was never
That brave
Anyway.

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Broken

Damnit.
Everything keeps coming out
Wrong today.
I hate to feel
So out of sorts.
So off balance.
I hate these days.
They're so hard to
Fight through.
And it's almost not worth
Getting out of bed,
Or even breathing.
And all I want is
To cry until
It doesn't hurt anymore.

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Breakdown

it hurts so much to remember
and it's all in a fog anyway...
yes, i know that i knew her,
and that i should remember him...
but it's all so fuzzy
in my mind...
i know everyone thinks
i'm getting old
before my time...
they make jokes and
laugh about it...
i can't put the names
to faces anymore...
i can't recall if
we were friends
or enemies
anymore...
i've forgotten
so much more
than i realized...
and i wonder if they
would still laugh about it
if they knew why...
it's so hard to
think straight
after
you've been broken...

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Emptiness Surrounds

My heart is so empty
Everyone has tried to fill it
But there simply isn't enough
Friendship or Love
In the world
To fill the aching void
Left behind
By a child
That wasn't even mine

13 December 2001

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Aurora

I don't know whose hand brought you to us
Maybe it was God, or maybe just Fate
It doesn't really matter
What matters is that you came
You brought sunshine into our lives
We didn't even know we were living in darkness
Until you came
And, oh, how we loved you

We watched your first steps
And heard your first words
You filled holes in our souls and hearts
That we didn't even know were there
We didn't realize how much we needed you
Until you were already with us

Every day with you
Was a moment stolen from heaven
Every tear you cried
Shattered my heart
Every laugh from your lips
Captured my soul
I was so proud
To call you mine

Time seemed to pass so quickly
While you were with me
And now it crawls so slowly
You filled such a void in my life
And somehow
Left an even bigger one behind

Now each day dawns darker than the one before
Each night stretches out longer than the last
Each breath becomes harder to draw
Each heartbeat lasts an eternity
I have never been so lonely
Nor so heartbroken
I have never felt so lost
Or betrayed
I would rather have died myself
Than to have lost you

I hid my tears
I buried my pain
I built a wall
And sometimes
There's a crack in the wall
And my pain and tears escape
Lashes out
At the ones I love
I don't know how to heal
The wound on my heart

Everyone who cared
Told me to move on
But how can I?
A piece of myself
Has been ripped away
And I should get over it?
How do I move on
When memories drag me back?
How can I live my life
When I feel my life is gone?
If it's not better by now
Will it ever be?
Or should I simply give up?

I know my life
Is defined by more than a child
But why
Just this once
Can't I have
What I've always wanted most?
Are my prayers
Than unimportant?
Or only me?

13 December 2001

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Crocodile Tears

Crocodile tears
God, how I hate them
As you say you're sorry
You didn't mean to
Try to hold me, kiss me
As if I didn't still have your handprint on my throat

Crocodile tears
God, how I hate them
As you say you're sorry
She didn't mean anything
You didn't really love her, no
As if I didn't hear you say you wished I was her

Crocodile tears
God, how I hate them
As you say you're sorry
Never happen again
But it will
Is it your fault for hurting me?
Or mine for staying?

27 August 2008

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene