Untitled

I'm grateful that you worry
And I appreciate your concern
But why on earth are you lecturing me
For things beyond my control?
It's nice to know I matter
And it's sweet to know you care
But I'm not doing this on purpose
It's something I can't stop
I know that you can't see how deeply
Your words have caused me pain
You gently comfort others
But tell me I should be ashamed
Just because you cannot see
How truly sick I am
Or how badly this illness hurts me
You think I have no need
For love or comforting words
You cannot see how badly
My heart has begun to hurt
You hold me at arms length
Afraid you'll catch it too
When the very thing I need
Is a kiss, a hug, a smile
Or just a kind word from you

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

For the record, I am sick. I am not anorexic. I am not on a crash diet. I am not starving myself. I AM SICK. Please stop fussing at me for losing weight. I'M NOT DOING IT ON PURPOSE!!! I AM SICK!!!

the only one

sometimes i wonder
if i'm the only one
who feels like
they're going crazy
if i'm the only one
who feels like
life's too hard
if i'm the only one
who feels like
they're worthless
if i'm the only one
who feels like
time's not on my side
if i'm the only one
who feels like
they're lost

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

From A Distance

I guess my writing makes it
Easy to see
From the outside.
And so removed...
I wonder
Which is sadder?
The fact that I'm so desperate?
Or
The fact that you don't see it?

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

No More...

I just wonder
What you'd think,
If you knew,
How many times
I regretted
Making that promise.
I really do love you...
But I really don't want
To be here anymore...
It just
Hurts too much.
I'm sorry.
But you shouldn't
Worry too much.
I was never
That brave
Anyway.

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Broken

Damnit.
Everything keeps coming out
Wrong today.
I hate to feel
So out of sorts.
So off balance.
I hate these days.
They're so hard to
Fight through.
And it's almost not worth
Getting out of bed,
Or even breathing.
And all I want is
To cry until
It doesn't hurt anymore.

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Time

Eleven years is a long time
To know someone,
To love someone,
And still not trust them;
Still not know the little things,
Like my favorite song,
My favorite book;
To still not understand
That sometimes I will be sad
No matter what you do;
And sometimes I will laugh
No matter how mad it makes you.

It's a long time to know me
And yet still not understand,
That no matter what you say or do,
There will always be times
That I must be alone.
There will always be places
Where you cannot follow.

Eleven years is a long time
Much too long
For me to ever expect
For you to change.

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

rainfilled memories

rainfilled memories
left in the gloomy night
to be forgotten
like an old jar left
forgotten
filling with rainwater
they fill with
despair, loneliness
they are lost to me
as the rain slowly pours down
darkness settles in
rain fills the jar
despair fills the memory
the cup runneth over
the rain still falls
falling
falling
rainfilled memories
left in the gloomy night

6 September 1994

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Lost

Softly calling
Hear my plea
Yet no one answers
Nor cares to love
Tears fall helplessly
From a broken heart
As lovelight slowly fades

The dream has been shattered
A river of misery
A tide of regrets
I wish I could
Make it all right

7 November 1994

Peace

A creek's trickle
A whippoorwill's call
Crickets' chirping
So quiet
So still
No sound of people
No city's bustle
Devoid of the whine of tires
And the honking of horns

Oh, how poets search for such peace in the poems
How writers strive for such tranquility in their words
Through the ages, mankind has sought to define peace

'Tis such a pity
Had they but asked
I would have shared the secret

For the only peace
That a human can know
Is the depressing peace
Of loneliness

14 December 2001

Upon The Timeless Tide

Upon the timeless tide of love
A heartache slowly glides
In a sea of memories
To the sands of forgotten time
And remembering a dark past
A broken soul remains behind
Afraid of earning another scar
Unable to stand anymore pain
Afraid to take another chance
Refusing to love again
Unwilling to let anyone try
To erase a heartache's stain

14 November 1994

Pour Appeller Le Mien / To Call My Own

Pendant le soir / During the night
Je pense de toi / I think of you
Je rêve de toi/ I dream of you
Je vois ton image / I see your face
Dans mon someil / In my sleep
Je vois tes yeux / I see your eyes
Le dedans je vois / In them I see
Moi-même / Myself
Je vois l'amour / I see love
J'éspere que / I wish that
Tu m'adores / You loved me
Parce que / Because
Je t'adore / I love you
Tu m'aurais adoré / You would love me
Si tu m'as connu / If you knew me
Mais tu es parti / But you have gone
Et je suis seule / And I am alone
Avec rien / With nothing
Et personne / And no one
Pour appeller le mein / To call my own

untitled

all i ever wanted
was someone to
hold me
love me
put no one else before me
stand beside me
listen to me
let me be myself
i didn't realize
that was asking too much