Speedy

Driving home from work
I passed an old man
In an old brown and tan Ford
And in that heartbeat I was
Sitting between you and my dad
Toot toot...
Still too little to see over the dash
Don't mess with my toot toot...
Sipping on the soda that Daddy said you couldn't buy me
You can have another woman...
And singing along with you and the radio while Daddy laughed at us
But don't mess with my toot toot...
How I miss you sometimes.

I hope that you know that I've never forgotten what you taught me...
Curiousity should be nurtured and fed...
Just because you don't understand something doesn't mean it isn't true...
The stars still shine just as brightly though hidden by the clouds...
Some of the worst people can become some of the best people if they have the right motivation...
And though blood is thicker than water, love is thicker than blood.


© 1991-2010 Samantha Greene

Untitled

Sometimes when I'm alone and have a quiet moment to think
I wonder what my life would be like if you had known how to love me
Sometimes I wonder who I'd be today if you had been
What all children should have and not what you were
Would I be half as strong
If I hadn't had to treat you
As if you were a child?
Would I still know right from wrong
If I hadn't watched you
Manipulate and lie?
Would I still fear being the center of attention
If I hadn't watched you
Create such horrendous scenes?
Would I still pretend I wasn't sick
If I hadn't seen you
Pretend to commit suicide so many times
Just for attention?
Would I still be so obsessed with being in control
If I hadn't seen you lose yours
So many times?
Would I still be so obsessed with being loved
If I hadn't spent so many years
Fighting for love from you?
And how do I forgive you for all that you've done
When in your own mind
You never did anything wrong?

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Untitled

I'm grateful that you worry
And I appreciate your concern
But why on earth are you lecturing me
For things beyond my control?
It's nice to know I matter
And it's sweet to know you care
But I'm not doing this on purpose
It's something I can't stop
I know that you can't see how deeply
Your words have caused me pain
You gently comfort others
But tell me I should be ashamed
Just because you cannot see
How truly sick I am
Or how badly this illness hurts me
You think I have no need
For love or comforting words
You cannot see how badly
My heart has begun to hurt
You hold me at arms length
Afraid you'll catch it too
When the very thing I need
Is a kiss, a hug, a smile
Or just a kind word from you

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

For the record, I am sick. I am not anorexic. I am not on a crash diet. I am not starving myself. I AM SICK. Please stop fussing at me for losing weight. I'M NOT DOING IT ON PURPOSE!!! I AM SICK!!!

Empty

What barren grave before me lies
What hollow hope within me cries
When faith and dreams and love has died
And broken wings no longer fly

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Untitled

It's so hard to hide the pain that I feel
Knowing that no one would ever understand
It's hard to feel so alone no matter
Who is standing with me
It's hard to hide the scars I bear
And harder to still to live those days
When those scars feel like a failure
But the hardest thing I think
Is to live in a world where so many
Claim to know and love me
Yet never see the sadness;
Or the pain;
Never see how hard it is
For me to be happy
They simply see what they want,
Smile and pat my hand
As they hurry along
To more important things.

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Untitled

I wish that I could say
What's really in my heart
I wish that I could reveal
How I truly feel
But it would gain me nothing
And lose me everything
So I'll simply smile
And pretend
That I really am happy.

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Untitled

Why can I not impress you?
I either frighten you by being too good
Or disappoint you by being too bad
I can never just be good enough
You're disappointed when
I don't need your help
You're suffocated when I do
You get bored when I don't change
And irritated when I do
You tell me to just be myself
But criticize me when I do
It's all or nothing with you
There is no happy medium
And it's killing me

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Untitled

I would like to find the man
Who was stupid enough to say
That what does not kill you
Only makes you stronger
And show him a thing or two
About what pain really is

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

betrayal

if only you knew the pain it causes
to have someone you love
defend another from you
as if you were the evil one
to have them take another's side
as if they didn't trust you
and if only you knew
how many times i've stood there
feeling like a total bitch
even though i know i'm right
trying to defend and protect what i love
only to find the one i love standing against me
even though you should be on my side
and no one else's

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Not really sure why I didn't post this one when I wrote it....December 08

Untitled

what a sad little girl
sitting there in the corner
so frightened and alone
wanting only to be loved
wanting only to be wanted
she doesn't want to control
she wants to be important
she doesn't want to manipulate
she wants to be interesting
if she asks for attention
she's being selfish
if she asks for more time
she's being controlling
and so she sits in the corner alone
trying to hide her tears
wishing she was interesting enough
to talk to for hours
wishing she was enough
to keep your attention on her
wishing she knew what made her
always feel like second best
and wishing with all her heart
that she could be your world
as much as you are hers

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Aurora

oh my precious little angel
if you had any idea
what it did for my heart
to know that you remember me
to know that even once
i crossed your mind
if you had any idea
how many times you've crossed mine
how much love i still have for you
how much i've worried about you
and that you've never left my heart
oh my precious angel
how i've missed you
all these years

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Homesick

I'm so tired of being
A stranger in a strange land
Where everything is so hard
And everything hurts so much
I'm tired of the pain
I'm tired of being sick
I'm tired of being tired
I'm willing to do whatever job
You set before me
But why must I suffer so
To get it done?
I hate so much to complain
But I need some help
Because this night just keeps getting longer
And the dawn seems so far away....

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Desperate Prayer

Precious angel hear my plea
Please come near and answer me
Grant me help from up above
I need your help; I need your love
I'm slowly sinking, going under
Losing hope; losing wonder
I try and try, yet nothing works
Do you above, see my hurt?
See my worry, see my pain?
And can you make me whole again?

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Untitled

Like fruit from barren trees now falling
Whispered words within me calling
Though truth and life and hope depart
You remain forever in my heart

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Untitled

Precious love
How sweet the sight
When you walked into the room

Perfect love
How sweet the sound
When you whispered my name

Paling love
How sharp the pain
When you turned away from me

Painful love
How sharp the ache
When I no longer had you

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

love

i love...
i love to love...
i love to love my love...

come to me
and you will see
how very much i love

walk with me
and you will see
how deeply can i love

stand with me
and you will see
how fiercely can i love

lie with me
and you will see
how sweetly can i love

trust in me
and you will see
how only you i love

i love...
i love to love...
i love to love my love...

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

winds of love

angel wings beat against the trees
releasing golden snow of autumn leaves
a rushing wind like banshee's scream
as winter falls upon the dream
the snow that falls is pure and white
and bathes us in the holy light
those who seek shall truly find
One most loving, just and kind
the One who is and always was
the One who loves you just because...

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

haunted

the house was dark and deep
and i should have known better
then to let my curiosity
get the better of me
but off i went alone
to seek the secrets that i sensed
but when i found them
i turned away
only to find
the greater evil
waited behind me

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Nosy neighbors

Nosy neighbors at the door
What do you think you're looking for?
Why must you always sneak and peek?
Can I not have but a moment's peace?
Stop this now or one thing's for sure
You'll see much more that you bargained for.

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Hurt

Sometimes, you just can't say it any better than someone else already has...



I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything

what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
upon my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
beneath the stains of time
the feelings disappear
you are someone else
I am still right here

what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

if I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep mysel
fI would find a way...