Futility

Why do you fear me so?
Because I know things
That I shouldn't
Couldn't possibly know?
Oh, but if you could see
The things I see;
The things I don't tell you.
If you could see the way it hurts me
To hide myself
From you,
From the world.
I didn't ask for this
You know.
It comes with the blood.
And what I wouldn't do
To convince myself
That there was good in it.
To believe that I could change
The things I know I can't.
I cannot accept it
I cannot ignore it
And I cannot share it,
Not even with you.
You fear me when I do.
They all fear me when I do.
So I suffer in silence;
Unable to help,
Unable to change anything.
And wishing that
I knew what He expected of me.