The Doorway

untitled

2010-04-30T19:50:00.002-04:00

Ah, Mother's Day...
That time of year
When I stand before the card racks
Desperately searching for a card
That's sweet and kind and loving
But not such a lie
That I can't hand it over with a straight face.

© 1991-2010 Samantha Greene

untitled

2010-04-30T19:04:00.003-04:00

now didn't i say that's the way it would happen
and didn't i say that's the way it would be
when will you ever stop scoffing and laughing
and finally admit that i really can see
i was only trying to give you a warning
i was only trying to give you some help
but if your only response is going to be mocking
then i'll just keep my warnings to myself

© 1991-2010 Samantha Greene

Speedy

2010-04-29T18:46:00.003-04:00

Driving home from work
I passed an old man
In an old brown and tan Ford
And in that heartbeat I was
Sitting between you and my dad
Toot toot...
Still too little to see over the dash
Don't mess with my toot toot...
Sipping on the soda that Daddy said you couldn't buy me
You can have another woman...
And singing along with you and the radio while Daddy laughed at us
But don't mess with my toot toot...
How I miss you sometimes.

I hope that you know that I've never forgotten what you taught me...
Curiousity should be nurtured and fed...
Just because you don't understand something doesn't mean it isn't true...
The stars still shine just as brightly though hidden by the clouds...
Some of the worst people can become some of the best people if they have the right motivation...
And though blood is thicker than water, love is thicker than blood.

© 1991-2010 Samantha Greene

Awakened

2010-04-04T20:27:00.003-04:00

For so long now I've been
Sleeping
Slumbering
Hiding away
Playing my own little games
In my own little world
So careful not to allow any
To spill out onto another
But you could not let me be
You would not let me sleep
You simply had to prod
Had to poke
Had to keep going
Had to keep pushing
And now that I'm awake
Now that I'm angry
I do not think
You will like
What comes next.

© 1991-2010 Samantha Greene

untitled

2009-08-02T14:39:00.003-04:00

it's not that i want things my own way
its not that i'm not up for some change
but if to speak and be heard
is so undeserved
perhaps i should just walk away

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

untitled

2009-05-30T12:28:00.003-04:00

Weave your web of destiny
Around my heart and pay no heed
To the thorns along the way
Tis my only way of staying safe
From one who speaks with lover's pride
And speaks me promises filled with lies
That dragon who sees me as his gold
Ever to hoard; never to hold

© 1991-2010 Samantha Greene

I started this one a long time ago, and now I have no idea where I was going with it...

Untitled

2009-05-30T12:23:00.004-04:00

What fits we fought when we were young
With souls so pure and hearts so strong
We genuises in our naivete
We saw the world with such clarity
But chained within our selfish thoughts
We passed up wars we should have fought
And now become the mindless pawns
We were too righteous to look upon

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Another Flashback

2009-05-24T14:06:00.003-04:00

So, my dad was cleaning some stuff out of one of his buildings and found some of my old things. Some old books that I thought were long gone and such, but he also found a very old poem. Not the greatest thing I've ever written, but what makes me remember it is how it was written. You see, it was an English assignment (seventh or eighth grade I think). We spent an entire week in the library, and we were supposed to be doing research to write a poem on the Civil War. So all the kids spent hours looking up dates and trying to make them rhyme, while I wrote mine in ten minutes and goofed off the rest of the time. (No surprise, huh?) The funny thing is, I'm the only one that got an A....and then they published it in the school paper. LOL Hmm...wonder what would have happened if I'd actually put some effort into it? ;) Well, here it is:

Shades of Blue and Grey

The Blue and the Grey
Shall clash this day
In a bloody war
Over field and moor

And in the field
Blood freely flows
A last stand is made
As the sunset glows

The land bleeds blood
Of soldier's pride
Brothers fight boldly
Yet on different sides

To clash together
One grim day
Grey with Blue
Blue with Grey

At Gettysburg
The fought and fell
The battlefield became
A living hell

The Grey has lost
The Blue has won
And now the end
Has finally begun

No one really wins
Though you see
Not the Blue and Grant
Not the Grey and Lee

For both will fight
Again some day
In shades of Blue
And shades of Grey

Fall 1992

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

forewarned

2009-04-17T11:24:00.003-04:00

i tried to warn you
that you were playing
a dangerous game
one that i could play
much better
but you wouldn't listen
and now
that you see how easily
i can twist
them round my finger;
how quickly
your own friends
might stab you in the back;
now you know
how dangerous the game
can be
and how amusing it is
that now
your loyalty
knows no bounds
your devotion
knows no end
such a pity
that you had
to push me
into showing you
the possibilities

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

2009-03-19T15:30:00.002-04:00

Hehehe...so you're wondering where I' ve been? Putting my poetry to music of course. :)

Well, okay, I can't really sing well...or at all...and I can't play the guitar well...but when has that ever stopped me from doing something? At least it's fairly close to what I intended...

Oh...and the original poem, if you wish... http://snoflake241.blogspot.com/2009/03/lift-me-up.html

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Thank You

2009-03-05T12:32:00.000-05:00

Thank you for letting me walk in on my own
Thank you for allowing me to fight my fights alone
Thank you for leaving me alone and without hope
Thank you for not caring if and how I coped
Thank you for not asking what happened in my life
Thank you for not caring about those tears I cried
Thank you for leaving me lost and hurt and scared
Thank you for showing me how much you didn’t care

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

For All Eternity

2009-03-05T12:31:00.000-05:00

Well I felt so lost and lonely
Even standing in a crowd
And though others claimed to love me
I felt like odd man out
I didn’t know which way to turn
Or how to stay afloat
I didn’t have the strength to try
Or a single shred of hope

Then You touched my heart
And You opened my eyes
You showered me with mercy
And gave me a new life
You washed away my sins
And then You set me free
So I’ll bow before You now
And for all eternity

I found what I was missing
My emptiness is gone
And I no longer worry
When I see approaching storms
For I stand upon a Rock now
That I know cannot be moved
And God the Father loves me
His Son’s the living proof

He touched my heart
And He opened my eyes
He showered me with mercy
And gave me a new life
He washed away my sins
And then He set me free
So I’ll worship Him now
And for all eternity

I can’t believe I waited
So long to see the Truth
All those years I wasted
Demanding to see proof
But now my heart is flooded
With faith and love so strong
That I just can’t stop praising
My King, my Lord, my God!

Cause He touched my heart
And He opened my eyes
He showered me with mercy
And gave me a new life
He washed away my sins
And then He set me free
So I’ll lift His name on high
For all eternity

He washed away my sins
And then He set me free
So I’ll sing to Him praises
For all eternity

01 March 2009

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Child Of The King

2009-03-05T12:30:00.002-05:00

It’s time to face another day,
Temptation standing in my way
With sin and doubt at every turn
You’d think by now I’d finally learn
To turn away and pass on by
From temptation of the night
Now all that’s left to do is pray
And when it comes to turn and say

I’m not a child of the night
I wasn’t made for such things
Into the darkness I’ll cry
I am a child of the King

How they laughed and how they grinned
When I told them I’d been born again
The didn’t want to see their sin
And tried to drag me down with them
“Have a drink” “No, have a light”
“One more look” “One more bite”
“Take what you want” “Take what you like”
“Everything will be all right”

But I’m not a child of the night
I wasn’t made for such things
Into the darkness I’ll cry
I am a child of the King

He came done once, He’ll come again
And all the world may tremble when
His majesty lights up the sky
But I for one, will gladly cry

I’m not a child of the night
I wasn’t made for this world
Into the darkness I’ll cry
I am a child of the Lord

I’m not a child of the night
I wasn’t made for such things
Into the darkness I’ll cry
I am a child of the King
01 February 2009

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Lift Me Up

2009-03-05T12:30:00.001-05:00

Walking in this darkness is taking such a toll
Sometime I feel just like I’m fighting for my very soul
Well, I’ve studied all Your words, Lord, and I’m living in Your ways
But I need a little help down here to make it through today

I need a touch of Your hand; Or just a whisper from Your throne
A little something to remind me that I’m not on my own
When I’m feeling lost and lonely and ready to give up
I need a moment of Your grace to lift me up

I’m fighting the good fight and I’m walking in my faith
Oh, but Lord it’s hard to keep on going day after day
Well, I’d like to hear “Well done” when You finally call me home
Oh, but Lord I’m only human, I can’t do this alone

I need a touch of Your hand; Or just a whisper from Your throne
A little something to remind me that I’m not on my own
When I’m feeling lost and lonely and ready to give up
I need a moment of Your grace to lift me up

I’m not asking for a miracle, but it’s come to push and shove
If I’m gonna rise above this Lord, I need to feel Your love

I need a touch of Your hand; Or just a whisper from Your throne
A little something to remind me that I’m not on my own
When I’m feeling lost and lonely and ready to give up
I need a moment of Your grace to lift me up

When I’m feeling lost and lonely and ready to give up
I need a moment of Your grace to lift me up

I need a moment of Your grace to lift me up

I need a moment of Your grace, Lord, to lift me up

15 February 2009

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Joyful Noise

2009-03-05T12:28:00.001-05:00

Joy, make a joyful noise
Oh, joy, make a joyful noise
Yeah, joy, make a joyful noise
To the Lord, our God above

He came to Earth to show the way
And told us we could be saved by faith
He allowed Himself to be crucified
So that we could be reconciled

Joy, make a joyful noise
Oh, joy, make a joyful noise
Yeah, joy, make a joyful noise
To the Lord, our God above

They put Him in a borrowed tomb
And sealed him in the deep dark gloom
But when He rose, all darkness cowered
For Sin and Death had lost their power

Joy, make a joyful noise
Oh, joy, make a joyful noise
Yeah, joy, make a joyful noise
To the Lord, our God above

He paid the price, He bore our sins
So that we could be born again
And now He rules from His throne above
Bathing us in His holy love

Joy, make a joyful noise
Oh, joy, make a joyful noise
Yeah, joy, make a joyful noise
To the Lord, our God above

Fogiveness can now be received
Because our Lord has set us free
All you need is to trust in Him
And He will wipe away every sin

Joy, make a joyful noise
Oh, joy, make a joyful noise
Yeah, joy, make a joyful noise
To the Lord, our God above

Joy, make a joyful noise
Oh, joy, make a joyful noise
Yeah, joy, make a joyful noise
To the Lord, our God above

Joy, make a joyful noise
Oh, joy, make a joyful noise
Yeah, joy, make a joyful noise
To the Lord, our God above

24 February 2009

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Yeah, another song. No, I don't know why.

The Way He Was When He Was Mine

2009-03-05T12:26:00.001-05:00

You say he’s all but perfect
He fulfills your every need
He’s always sweet and loving
And you just can’t believe
How anyone could ever let him go
But, girl, just give him time
Prince Charming soon will be a toad
The way he was when he was mine

He’ll forget to say I love you
Then he’ll forget to come back home
He’ll hurry to another room
To whisper on the phone
He’ll tell you that you’re crazy
When you catch him in a lie
He’ll be cheating, no-good, lazy
The way he was when he was mine

Those flowers and cards he send you
Well soon they’re gonna stop
You’ll be sitting up all night long
Just staring at the clock
You think you’re gonna change hime
But girl you’re gonna find
That cheating’s just his way of life
And that’s why he’s no longer mine

He forgets to say I love you,
Then he forget to come back home
He hurries to another room
And whispers on the phone
He tells you that you’re crazy
When you catch him in a lie
He’s cheating, no-good, lazy
That’s the way he was when he was mine

Well, girl I’ve been right where you’re at
And I’ve cried those same tears
All I can say is don’t be like me
And go on wasting years

Where he forgets to say I love you,
Then he forget to come back home
He hurries to another room
And whispers on the phone
He tells you that you’re crazy
When you catch him in a lie
He’s cheating, no-good, lazy
That’s the way he was when he was mine

So don’t think you’re gonna change
His cheating way of life
He’s no-good, low down, lazy
The way he was when he was mine

20 February 2009

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Not my best work, but I like it.

Heart To Heart

2009-02-14T20:20:00.003-05:00

What a shock it was to see you standing there
So sweet and strong, you were an answered prayer
From the first sweet kiss, that’s when I knew
This is where I belong, this is where I choose
To be by your side for the rest of my life
Your love is all I need, and it feels so right
And I loved you right from the start
Side by side, eye to eye, heart to heart

Won’t you take my head and we’ll run away
Find a sandy beach where we can love and play
Or a mountain lodge with the snow piled high
No matter where we are, no matter where we go
Just to be with you, that’s all I want
Side by side, eye to eye, heart to heart

When I see your face something seeps through me
I am bound by love; I am soaring free
You lift me up to a higher place
When you reach for me, I can hardly wait
You are always mine, I’m forever yours
And I can’t remember ever wanting more
Because I loved you right from the start
Side by side, eye to eye, heart to heart

Won’t you take my hand and we’ll run away
Find a quiet place to waste away the day
In the tropic heat or the freezing snow
Now matter where we are, no matter where we go
Just to be with you, that’s all I want
Side by side, eye to eye, heart to heart

And I loved you right from the start
Side by side, eye to eye, heart to heart

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

This one's for my Bearpup. Happy Valentine's Day, my love.

Untitled

2009-01-30T19:23:00.003-05:00

Sometimes when I'm alone and have a quiet moment to think
I wonder what my life would be like if you had known how to love me
Sometimes I wonder who I'd be today if you had been
What all children should have and not what you were
Would I be half as strong
If I hadn't had to treat you
As if you were a child?
Would I still know right from wrong
If I hadn't watched you
Manipulate and lie?
Would I still fear being the center of attention
If I hadn't watched you
Create such horrendous scenes?
Would I still pretend I wasn't sick
If I hadn't seen you
Pretend to commit suicide so many times
Just for attention?
Would I still be so obsessed with being in control
If I hadn't seen you lose yours
So many times?
Would I still be so obsessed with being loved
If I hadn't spent so many years
Fighting for love from you?
And how do I forgive you for all that you've done
When in your own mind
You never did anything wrong?

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Altar Call

2009-01-16T11:03:00.005-05:00

As I walked through the doors and I sat down in the pew
I knew somehow that I did not belong
I don't know why I came; I don't know why I stayed
When the urge to run away was so strong
But I had the strangest feeling he was talking just to me
When the preacher said it's time to make a choice
But I bowed my head in shame, knowing God could not want me
Then at my side I heard this gentle voice

Don't you know Me? Don't you love Me?
Can't you trust that I will never bring you harm?
Are you lonely? Are you hurting?
Why won't you let Me hold you in My arms?
Because I love you
Oh, how I love you

My emptiness consumed me, as the choir sang a hymn
And the preacher stood and gave the altar call
As my past flashed through my mind; all the many wrongs I'd done
My eyes fell on the cross upon the wall
Tears slid down my face, that I wasn't good enough
Then the preacher spoke of mercy undeserved
Of a Father who loved me, and would always forgive me
The somewhere in these words I found the nerve

Do you know Me? Do you love Me?
Can you trust that I will never bring you harm?
Are you lonely? Are you hurting?
Why won't you let Me hold you in My arms?
Because I love you
Oh, how I love you

I knelt down at the rail and I repeated the prayer
And all at once, my pain and hurt were gone
As I stood and turned around, that's when I could finally see
It was the one place on earth that I belonged

Because He knows me; and He loves me
And I can trust that He will never do me harm
I'm not lonely; I'm not hurting
Because I'm finally held safe within His arms
Because He loves me
Oh, how He loves me

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Untitled

2009-01-14T11:19:00.005-05:00

I'm grateful that you worry
And I appreciate your concern
But why on earth are you lecturing me
For things beyond my control?
It's nice to know I matter
And it's sweet to know you care
But I'm not doing this on purpose
It's something I can't stop
I know that you can't see how deeply
Your words have caused me pain
You gently comfort others
But tell me I should be ashamed
Just because you cannot see
How truly sick I am
Or how badly this illness hurts me
You think I have no need
For love or comforting words
You cannot see how badly
My heart has begun to hurt
You hold me at arms length
Afraid you'll catch it too
When the very thing I need
Is a kiss, a hug, a smile
Or just a kind word from you

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

For the record, I am sick. I am not anorexic. I am not on a crash diet. I am not starving myself. I AM SICK. Please stop fussing at me for losing weight. I'M NOT DOING IT ON PURPOSE!!! I AM SICK!!!

Empty

2008-12-30T19:34:00.003-05:00

What barren grave before me lies
What hollow hope within me cries
When faith and dreams and love has died
And broken wings no longer fly

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Final Goodbye

2008-12-22T09:31:00.004-05:00

To all those whom I love
Being all those whom I know
Please do not be sad
I'm simply going home
I have no fear of Death
Jesus has broken that chain
And so I've been set free
By God's amazing grace
So waste not one moment
At a cold and barren grave
For nowhere on this earth
Is my final resting place
I've been well loved by many
And enjoyed this happy life
But I can hear St Peter calling
And I see Heaven's Gates open wide
I ask just this one final favor
Please don't cry, don't wail, don't grieve
For my God has called me home
And it's in victory I leave.

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Untitled

2008-12-15T14:49:00.003-05:00

It's so hard to hide the pain that I feel
Knowing that no one would ever understand
It's hard to feel so alone no matter
Who is standing with me
It's hard to hide the scars I bear
And harder to still to live those days
When those scars feel like a failure
But the hardest thing I think
Is to live in a world where so many
Claim to know and love me
Yet never see the sadness;
Or the pain;
Never see how hard it is
For me to be happy
They simply see what they want,
Smile and pat my hand
As they hurry along
To more important things.

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Untitled

2008-12-15T14:45:00.001-05:00

I wish that I could say
What's really in my heart
I wish that I could reveal
How I truly feel
But it would gain me nothing
And lose me everything
So I'll simply smile
And pretend
That I really am happy.

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Untitled

2008-12-15T14:44:00.001-05:00

Why can I not impress you?
I either frighten you by being too good
Or disappoint you by being too bad
I can never just be good enough
You're disappointed when
I don't need your help
You're suffocated when I do
You get bored when I don't change
And irritated when I do
You tell me to just be myself
But criticize me when I do
It's all or nothing with you
There is no happy medium
And it's killing me

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Untitled

2008-12-15T14:41:00.001-05:00

I would like to find the man
Who was stupid enough to say
That what does not kill you
Only makes you stronger
And show him a thing or two
About what pain really is

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Locked Away

2008-12-15T14:40:00.001-05:00

See that woman over there
The one you think is
So strong
So sure
So brave?
The one you think doesn't need
Anyone
Or anything?
The one you think is trying
To manipulate and control you?
She's not as strong as you think she is.
She's just good at hiding.
Good at hiding her worry;
Good at hiding her pain;
Good at hiding her scars;
Good at hiding herself.
She knows that just because
You claim to love her
Doesn't mean
That she can trust you.
She's never trusted anyone;
And she's never been disappointed.

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Untitled

2008-12-04T13:27:00.003-05:00

Ah my love, you know so well
The pains that send me straight to hell
And once arrived you sweetly swear
You weren't the one that sent me there
You lie, control, manipulate
As upon your love I sadly wait
You think my love, I'll never leave
No matter how you make me grieve
But there's one thing that you should know
I'd rather leave than die this slow

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Untitled

2008-12-03T13:53:00.015-05:00

You tell me that you love me and baby I know that it's true
But somehow there never seems to be enough of me for you
I wish you could be faithful and I wish you could be true
But how can you love me and act the way you do?

You tell me that you're innocent and you haven't done me wrong
But don't you know that I have been watching all along?
You're thinking that you've fooled me and that I could never know
But baby can't you see I just gave you enough rope

So when you're standing lonely and you wonder where I've gone
Maybe you can tell yourself that you did nothing wrong
But when I came to talk to you and ask you for the truth
Baby I already held in my hands all the proof.

Don't you think I see? Don't you think I know?
Baby, no matter how I love you, I can let you go
I'm tired of this fighting when it always ends the same
And I'm tired of trying to play a no-win game

The saddest part is that you don't know the truth could set you free
If only just this once you could put your trust in me
But instead you give me lies that I can see right through
And cry crocodile tears as you try to hide the truth
So baby, if lies are going to be all that I ever get
I have to say it's over; You win; No more, I quit.

betrayal

2008-11-22T22:28:00.006-05:00

if only you knew the pain it causes
to have someone you love
defend another from you
as if you were the evil one
to have them take another's side
as if they didn't trust you
and if only you knew
how many times i've stood there
feeling like a total bitch
even though i know i'm right
trying to defend and protect what i love
only to find the one i love standing against me
even though you should be on my side
and no one else's

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Not really sure why I didn't post this one when I wrote it....December 08

Untitled

2008-11-22T22:11:00.007-05:00

what a sad little girl
sitting there in the corner
so frightened and alone
wanting only to be loved
wanting only to be wanted
she doesn't want to control
she wants to be important
she doesn't want to manipulate
she wants to be interesting
if she asks for attention
she's being selfish
if she asks for more time
she's being controlling
and so she sits in the corner alone
trying to hide her tears
wishing she was interesting enough
to talk to for hours
wishing she was enough
to keep your attention on her
wishing she knew what made her
always feel like second best
and wishing with all her heart
that she could be your world
as much as you are hers

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Aurora

2008-11-12T19:28:00.005-05:00

oh my precious little angel
if you had any idea
what it did for my heart
to know that you remember me
to know that even once
i crossed your mind
if you had any idea
how many times you've crossed mine
how much love i still have for you
how much i've worried about you
and that you've never left my heart
oh my precious angel
how i've missed you
all these years

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Homesick

2008-11-07T11:34:00.003-05:00

I'm so tired of being
A stranger in a strange land
Where everything is so hard
And everything hurts so much
I'm tired of the pain
I'm tired of being sick
I'm tired of being tired
I'm willing to do whatever job
You set before me
But why must I suffer so
To get it done?
I hate so much to complain
But I need some help
Because this night just keeps getting longer
And the dawn seems so far away....

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

untitled

2008-11-02T20:03:00.001-05:00

rays of blood fall from the sun
over valleys blackened by fire
as daylight seizes the land
wails and moans waft on breezes rising
from hidden clefts in mountain dark
the pale queen flees her once darkened kingdom
as the fire of truth burns her eyes
and what of her children
the millions
that follow her faithfully from shore to shore
will they share her fate
or will they see that their queen
only reflects the light of the sun

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

And so my dreams just continue to get weirder and weirder...

Untitled

2008-10-24T21:11:00.003-04:00

I'm complicated, can you handle that?
The way I talk, the way I act?
Can you handle tears for no good reason?
Blind loyalty and random treason?
Can you take my private kind of crazy?
The times I'm hyper, the times I'm lazy?
The random thoughts that cross my mind
Are often weird and badly timed.
And when in the middle of a crowd
Will it embarrass you when I laugh out loud?
With no excuse and no regret
For something so long ago said?
And when I laugh until I cry
Will you be mad not knowing why?
When you see how strong I am
Will it ruin all your precious plans?
Will you turn and walk away
Because of something I just had to say?
And when I fall so dark and deep
Will you hold me while I weep?

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

On Writing...

2008-10-24T20:33:00.003-04:00

No updates on my other writings. With all the stress from my crazy life, I've had to turn to writing other things...mainly resumes and application letters. I'll go back to writing soon. Assuming Murphy's Law ever decides to pass me by. :)

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Desperate Prayer

2008-10-22T20:25:00.001-04:00

Precious angel hear my plea
Please come near and answer me
Grant me help from up above
I need your help; I need your love
I'm slowly sinking, going under
Losing hope; losing wonder
I try and try, yet nothing works
Do you above, see my hurt?
See my worry, see my pain?
And can you make me whole again?

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

stress

2008-10-19T22:11:00.003-04:00

stress
coming from every angle
stress
driving me out of my mind
stress
making it impossible to sleep
stress
making it hard to eat
stress
making me the world's biggest bitch
stress
tearing me apart
stress
making me want to run away
stress
making my life seem worthless
stress
is anything really worth this?

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Disillusioned

2008-10-19T20:29:00.003-04:00

How can so many things
Go so wrong
So quickly?
How can everything
Fall apart
All at once?
How can things be so right
So perfect one day
And all to hell
The next?
And where
Can you find help
When there's no one
To turn to?

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Refuge

2008-10-15T19:53:00.003-04:00

Hold me, love
And wash away the pain
Wipe away my tears
Hold me close
Don't let me go
Save me from my fears

Hold me, love
And keep me safe
Protect me from the pain
Hold me close
Don't let me go
Or I'll never be the same

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Crap...

2008-10-14T15:14:00.005-04:00

So, let me get this straight...
We can put a man on the moon...
We can cure most and even prevent some diseases...
We can take an organ from one person and put it in another...
But we can't make a popcorn that pops completely
so that there are no hard little kernels to bite down on
and break your tooth with?

Bullshit.

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

broken angel

2008-10-13T19:21:00.005-04:00

i see you there upon the shelf
sweet little golden angel
so beautiful and fragile
how everyone admires you
comments on your beauty
on how you sparkle and shine
on how perfect you are
and most believe it
only the very few
who reach out to touch you
can see how truly broken you are

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Untitled

2008-10-12T19:48:00.003-04:00

Like fruit from barren trees now falling
Whispered words within me calling
Though truth and life and hope depart
You remain forever in my heart

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

On Writing...

2008-10-10T21:43:00.006-04:00

Well...I see that I missed my weekly writing update...oops.

I could give you an incredible excuse as to why I haven't written anything but poetry lately...but I'm supposed to be truthful with this, right? Okay...I was writing on Legacy, but the character I was working with got a little...darker than I had originally planned. So, I switched over to Survivor and managed to get a working outline for about 2/3 of the story...but as I said before, the content hits a little close to home....

So, now I'm trying to work up a story that I used to tell to amuse my cousins when I was a kid...well, that is until I got in trouble for giving them nightmares. LOL

No name, no word count, it's all still in my head. So, there you go.

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

truth

2008-10-10T20:07:00.003-04:00

a mysterious truth
that shines in my soul
resisting explanation
it shines on
defying logic
it shines on
unswayed by argument
it shines on
undaunted by darkness
it shines on
doubt cannot touch it
fear cannot shake it
time cannot test it
it is simply there
steady and sure
warm and inviting
perfect and true
untouched by the world
it shines on

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Untitled

2008-10-09T18:50:00.004-04:00

Precious love
How sweet the sight
When you walked into the room

Perfect love
How sweet the sound
When you whispered my name

Paling love
How sharp the pain
When you turned away from me

Painful love
How sharp the ache
When I no longer had you

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Confession

2008-10-09T09:08:00.005-04:00

here i stand before you

shameful and contrite

no excusing

no justifying

no rationalizing

just me

and my wrong

i lay it

at your feet

and pray that

as ever always

you will show me

more mercy

than i deserve

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Storm

2008-10-08T11:57:00.003-04:00

What fire now within me burns
As through darkened glass I view the world
And as I watch with childlike wonder
Lightning flashes rolls of thunder
Shake this world and light the sky
But I can only watch and sigh

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Canticle of the Tax Collector

2008-10-05T20:51:00.005-04:00

"Unworthy, Lord," I cry, "Unworthy,
Unworthy of love; unworthy of mercy.
I have been sinful, Lord great is my pride.
I have cheated, mistreated, spouted out lies;
My temper and tongue, both are quite quick.
I haven't cared for the poor, the needy, the sick.
I cared not for the widow or orphaned child
And at times I even held back my tithes.
I only prayed to you Lord, when I had the time.
Oh, great is my sorrow, great is my crime.
So now before my Lord I shamefully come
With sorrow and regret for what I have done.
And though I know Lord, that I am unworthy,
I fall before you now, crying out 'Mercy'
Mercy my Lord, if in Your wise eyes
This Sinner may ever be justified."

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

At A Loss...

2008-10-04T20:06:00.005-04:00

I've so much within me that I want to say
But I'm not sure anyone's listening anyway
I got what I wanted, but don't want what I've got
My mind turns against me more often than not
I hate who I am and what I've become
But I see no way out even if I could run
Some days I wish that I'd never been here
That I'd never known pain, that I'd never known fear
Sometimes I rage and sometimes I cry
Do I know the truth or is it all lies?
Are you my enemy or are you my friend?
And will any of it matter when we get to the end?

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Oh...and one more thing...why the heck is everything coming out in rhymes lately? I never used to rhyme hardly anything....

murder

2008-10-03T20:13:00.003-04:00

rustle of wings
black feathers fly
hunting and stalking
with ghostly cry
chasing tirelessly
through darkened sky
and waiting for
the midnight strike
to steal your soul
and watch you die

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

untitled

2008-10-03T12:05:00.001-04:00

what whispered words did i once breathe
to bring attention from you three
i have no need for your dark charms
and i'll not tremble with alarm
so take from me your lowly tricks
and find another to bewitch

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Witness

2008-10-03T11:24:00.001-04:00

With whispering rustle of ebony wings
Crow descends from trees now barren
In raveny speech, crying
In eerie silence, staring
No promises offers Crow
No deals that you may later break
Simply watches for it knows
You've nothing left to pray

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Benediction

2008-10-02T10:29:00.004-04:00

Lift us up within Your sight
Bless us with Your holy light
Show us Lord, what we should do
That we may better serve for You
Lift us up with loving hearts
And make us each a fruitful part
Of Your Church and of Your Glory
Lift us up Lord, make us worthy

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

love

2008-10-01T12:48:00.004-04:00

i love...
i love to love...
i love to love my love...

come to me
and you will see
how very much i love

walk with me
and you will see
how deeply can i love

stand with me
and you will see
how fiercely can i love

lie with me
and you will see
how sweetly can i love

trust in me
and you will see
how only you i love

i love...
i love to love...
i love to love my love...

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Untitled

2008-10-01T12:27:00.006-04:00

You shower me with love unearned
light fire that within me burns
and judge this soul, so very stained
worth more gold than man can weigh
You wrap me in Your warmth and love
and accept me in Your world above
and though i fall and cry unworthy
You shake your head and whisper worthy
"You were created in My name
and all within you I may claim
although I leave the choice to you
(for love freely given is always true)
I never left your side my child
through valleys dark or jungles wild"
and when i awoke, i knew the truth
that love alone shall be the proof

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

winds of love

2008-10-01T11:46:00.005-04:00

angel wings beat against the trees
releasing golden snow of autumn leaves
a rushing wind like banshee's scream
as winter falls upon the dream
the snow that falls is pure and white
and bathes us in the holy light
those who seek shall truly find
One most loving, just and kind
the One who is and always was
the One who loves you just because...

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

haunted

2008-10-01T11:34:00.004-04:00

the house was dark and deep
and i should have known better
then to let my curiosity
get the better of me
but off i went alone
to seek the secrets that i sensed
but when i found them
i turned away
only to find
the greater evil
waited behind me

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Victory

2008-10-01T11:19:00.003-04:00

What vanity this be
And not at all like me
To laugh and sing in such delight
But it has been quite a fight
To get to where I am today
And nice to see rewards are paid
So vain, you think and it may be
To find my joy in such a thing
But to think such thoughts can only mean
You've never fought the skinny jeans

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

sweet spirit

2008-09-30T16:36:00.003-04:00

what entrancing music you make
your voice is that of angels singing
it wafts among the trees
and settles in my soul
hypnotizing
harmonizing
tantalizing

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Nosy neighbors

2008-09-30T16:23:00.004-04:00

Nosy neighbors at the door
What do you think you're looking for?
Why must you always sneak and peek?
Can I not have but a moment's peace?
Stop this now or one thing's for sure
You'll see much more that you bargained for.

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Hurt

2008-09-29T13:46:00.002-04:00

Sometimes, you just can't say it any better than someone else already has...

I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything

what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
upon my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
beneath the stains of time
the feelings disappear
you are someone else
I am still right here

what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

if I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep mysel
fI would find a way...

Es mi vida...

2008-09-29T12:54:00.001-04:00

I have what I have and I've got what I've got;
It is what it is and it's not what it's not.
I followed your rules and I followed your law
And I've nothing to show for it, nothing at all.
So here is my new rule, new law, and new creed:
I am who I am - you can like it or leave!

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

On Writing...

2008-09-29T09:53:00.006-04:00

Here's my weekly update on what I've got:

Wilderness - Well the rough draft is finally finished and came in right around 75k words. The good news is that the first 2/3 of the draft, I was editing pretty heavily as I went, so it's more like a 2nd or 3rd draft. The bad news is I didn't edit the last 1/3 at all...I just wrote. So I'm sure there'll be alot of cleaning up to do on that part.

75,000 words - Rough draft completed
Legacy - I have taken Arendiwanen, Nightmare and PKJ and combined them, since they were essentially the same story told from three different viewpoints. I'm having to do alot of whittling on the writing I already have to make them fit together, so the word count probably won't rise much at first...I'll have to rewrite alot of it. For now, I'm just going to go with the combined word count for the three.

14,000+ words
Flashback - I still like the premise of this one. But I can't seem to figure where it should go from where I'm at. It looks like this one might be shelved for a time...

2,000+ words - no change
Surviving - I know I said that I shelved this one. The content is a little hard for me to deal with, but I'm thinking if I don't deal with it now, I never will. So, to hell with it, I'm pulling it off the shelf.

just under 3,000 words

So, I guess that's where I'm at. I have a feeling that I'll be working on Legacy mostly and jumping to Surviving if I need a break.

Snow

2008-09-28T16:50:00.004-04:00

I have felt the cold wind;
I have seen the snows flying.
Winter is coming far sooner
Than you could ever imagine.
And you have done nothing to prepare.
Do you expect to find shelter
Simply because you are lost and pathetic?
Do you expect to ignore the love that is offered to you
Until the last moment,
And then run to it as a last resort?
The winter will be cold and deep;
The snow will pile high upon this earth;
And the only place you will find refuge
Is with the one you have turned your back on.
And oh, how you will cry
If he turns his back on you.

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Unworthy

2008-09-28T16:45:00.005-04:00

With all the darkness that courses through my veins,
With all the misery I have caused and known,
How can they look to me for guidance?
With all the sins I have committed,
And the thousand more that I have considered,
How can they ask me to teach them?
If they could see the dark secrets
That hide in my heart,
Perhaps they would understand.
Though I may see
I am blind.
Though I may hear
I am deaf.
And I am far too lost
To show them the way.

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Midnight

2008-09-28T16:42:00.004-04:00

Twilight caresses our shadows
The moon gives silent witness
The stars glow with anticipation
A memory surrounds the darkness
And love's power rules

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

My Pack

2008-09-28T08:27:00.005-04:00

How it warms my heart and fills my day with happiness
When I awake and you hear the first sounds of my stirring
And come running to the bed, like a little herd of elephants
To kiss my eyes and lick my face and nose,
To bat my cheek and shake the bed with your wagging tail
With meows to show how pitifully you need my immediate attention
And whines to show how hard you're trying not to bark for joy
As if you'd been alone for years, instead of a mere few hours
As if nothing in the world has ever made you happier
Than to know that I'm still here
And though it warms my heart, it also makes me sad
That no one else has ever made me feel so loved

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Devotion

2008-09-27T18:17:00.002-04:00

Yes, I love him
I don't care how foolish or witless
They may think it is
I have always loved him
From the first
Moment,
Look,
Word,
Touch.
He is now and has always been
My life
And the truest happiness is in being
His wife.

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

On Writing...

2008-09-27T01:01:00.004-04:00

Woo-hoooooo!!!!!!! It's DONE! DONE! DONE!!!!

*runs around the room screaming and holding up the finished manuscript*

DONE!!! DONE!!! DONE!!!! I FINISHED IT!!!!! WILDERNESS IS DONE!!!!

*runs around in circles*

*collapses from too much coffee and too little sleep*

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

untitled

2008-09-26T21:42:00.004-04:00

If I could tell you what I see
Without fearing reprecussions,
I would tell you that
The one you pine for, the one you believe
Doesn't see you that way,
He doesn't just want to be friends.
He's only waiting until he finishes
What he's started,
Before he begins something else.
He'll tell you how he feels soon enough,
And you will have the children you long for...
In a little town in Illinois
You'll find the happiness you desire.
And the end you resist so strongly
Is not coming nearly as quickly as you fear
Nor half so painfully as you dread.
But I don't suppose you'd believe me
Even if I dared to speak.

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

For The Record...

2008-09-26T21:09:00.002-04:00

There are many different
Correct answers
To that question.
But laughter
Is never one of them.

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Cravings

2008-09-25T23:21:00.001-04:00

Why is it
You're never hungry
Till that damn
Pizza commercial
Comes on?
And even though
You know
The pizza place
Is closed,
Nothing else
In the house
Looks good
At all.

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

I hate the Pizza Hut commercials. I think they put them on after the restaurants close on purpose...just to screw with us...

My Only One

2008-09-25T09:05:00.005-04:00

Call my name and I will be there
No matter what stormy raging sea I must cross
No matter what steep and rugged mountain I must climb
No matter what dark and deadly valley I must brave
Call my name and I will be there
Whisper my name and I will come
For you are now and forever
My only one.

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

OMG...did I actually just write something...that isn't depressing...and yet still doesn't suck completely...wow...lol

Glory Road

2008-09-24T10:32:00.002-04:00

As I walk through this world of sorrow
I have no friends, nowhere to turn
The road leads on and so I follow
Hoping to find what I cannot earn

Oh, lead me on, oh, glory road
Help me to find my way back home
Walk by my side and hold me close
And lead me on Your glory road

I know the road is straight and narrow,
Though many try, so many stray,
Oh, Lord I'd leave this world tomorrow
If I could only see Your face.

Oh, lead me on, oh, glory road
Help me to find my way back home
Walk by my side and hold me close
And lead me on Your glory road

When morning light seems too long coming
And the night is dark and deep
I trust in You to keep me going
For You never leave Your sheep

Oh, lead me on, oh, glory road
Help me to find my way back home
Walk by my side and hold me close
And lead me on Your glory road
.
You hold me close and walk by my side
You still my fears and calm my mind
You washed me clean, as white as snow
And set me on this glory road

Oh, lead me on, oh, glory road
Help me to find my way back home
Walk by my side and hold me close
And lead me on Your glory road

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Written in the spring of 08. Another one that I'm not able to write the music to, which sucks because I know exactly how it should sound.

I'm Going Home

2008-09-24T10:22:00.004-04:00

I walked into the old man's room
It was gloomy and dark
He lay on an old beat up bed
Victim of an old heart
I sat on the bed beside him
He put his hand in mine
The old eyes looked up at me
He said listen well my child

Someday you will see
And someday you will know
Why I no longer have any fears
Because I'm going home
There's kingdom in the clouds
Where the streets are paved with gold
And there's a crystal sea a-shinin'
Or so I have been told

He said, "I'm going home
There's a band of angels comin' to take me away"
He said, "I'm going home
And hopefully I'll see you, join me there someday"

Then the old man began to shiver
And his eyes seemed to fill with age
But even with his final breath
There was a smile on his face

And now I'm going home
There's a band of angels comin' to take me away
Yes, I'm going home
And you know, I'm gonna see him; I'll join him there today

Because I'm going home....

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

I lost the original writing of this one, so I'm not sure of the date, other than that it was somewhere around 93. It was inspired by the death of my step-grandfather, but it really encompasses the attitude of so many that I've known who have passed on. I wish that I could write the music that I hear in my head for it, but I'm just not that good. LOL

plagiarism

2008-09-23T12:54:00.003-04:00

i write you poems to show my love
but then i hide them from you
and i know it may not make sense to others
i don't do it because i fear your reaction
i'm sure you would at least
pretend to like them
i don't do it because i fear
you'll misunderstand my words
i could always explain myself
and make you see what i meant
i hide my poems from you
because no matter how much i trust you
i can never forget
hearing my hard found words of love
falling from your lips
to her ears

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Well, hell...I was in a good mood. I really thought I was over that one...*sigh*

Our Song

2008-09-23T12:31:00.005-04:00

You said you knew you didn't tell me
You loved me nearly enough.
And you knew that you couldn't write me
Sweet and lovely poems.
And you knew you didn't always show me
How important I was to you.
But...
What you didn't always say,
You thought every day.
What you couldn't ever write
You felt in your heart.
And though you didn't always show it,
You knew that it was true.
And I thought of the day,
You admitted
With a trace of embarrassment
That you made fun of those
Sappy love songs
Because they never made sense to you
Until I came along
And Fate skipped a beat
And scared you to death.

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Upward Exit

2008-09-23T12:12:00.005-04:00

He doesn't answer when I call;
And I worry.
He doesn't reply to my emails;
And I worry.
He may only be ignoring me
For some imagined slight.
But I worry somehow
That something isn't right.
For years ago, they told me
Something I'd rather not know.
I may not know the day;
But I do know the road...
I may not know the hour;
But I do know the result...
And though I tried to tell him
He simply won't believe;
And so I simply wait and worry
And wish I hadn't seen.

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Lifted Up

2008-09-23T11:24:00.006-04:00

I remembered you in my prayers.
I don't know you well,
Not really at all.
But I cried when I thought
Of how you hurt.
I didn't cause your pain,
But I have caused the same pain
For others.
And so,
I prayed for you.
I prayed for
Comfort,
Strength,
And healing.
I prayed that someday soon,
When you're ready,
That true love will find you.
That you will find the happiness
That I know you deserve.
I prayed that you will be patient
And wait -
That the pain you feel now,
Is only
Preparing you
For better things.
I remembered you in my prayers
Because
I've caused the pain you feel;
I've felt the pain you feel.
But also because
I know that sometimes
It just isn't meant to be
No matter how badly
You wanted it.
I know that sometimes
Destiny
Denies you what you want
To give you what you need.
And it's far better.

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Run Away...

2008-09-23T11:13:00.004-04:00

Let's run away together.
Just pack our bags and leave;
We'll drive south,
Following summer's dwindling trail.
We'll find a sandy beach
Where the sun shines warm
All year long.
And a cozy little cottage
Where the whispering roar of the waves
Can rock us to sleep.
We'll leave our cares and worries
To freeze in winter's grip.
We'll live for ourselves
And no one else.
And when they come looking for us,
We'll run away and hide;
Laugh at their confusion.
Because they don't understand
How little we need them
And how much we need
Each other.

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

On Writing...

2008-09-23T10:53:00.004-04:00

Well, it's been a week now. So, here's my working list:

Wilderness
9/16 - 63,000+ words
9/23 - 69,000+ words
6,ooo words
Nightmare
9/16 - 2,000+ words
9/23 - 3,700 words
1,700 words

I haven’t worked on the other stories at all this week…although I have read over them and contemplated some plot stuff.

I do know that this was not a lot of writing…but to be fair, I was sick a few days. I also had to do some rewriting, well, actually I backed up in Wilderness and started writing in a new direction…so, if I removed 5,000 words that were in the original count…that means I actually wrote about 12,000 words. Still not impressive (considering that I have little else to do with my life at the moment), but considering the time I wasted on plot problems in Wilderness…I guess it’ll do. Besides, even at this rate, I would think that I could still finish the rough draft of Wilderness in a month at most. Two weeks if I’d get off my ass and quit playing video games. LOL

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Love

2008-09-22T20:18:00.001-04:00

I love you, you know.
You're an ass sometimes.
You ignore me for hours on end,
You tease me unmercifully,
You blame me for things
Beyond my control.
But other times,
You're the sweetest guy
I've ever known;
Thoughtful,
Kind,
Adoring.
And I know
You love me
In your own way.
But do you know
How much I love you?

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

in the shadows

2008-09-22T11:37:00.006-04:00

i looked into the darkness
and i saw
the eagle
one head looked to the sun
one head looked to the moon
it held a scimitar
it fed on others
smaller than itself
and then
it saw the star
and rage filled its heart
it rained down fire on the land
and judgment began

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Heart of Hearts

2008-09-21T13:29:00.001-04:00

You are the greatest temptation
I have ever known,
And even when my mind says
I should turn away from you
I cannot.
A look,
A smile,
A touch,
And I am yours again.
What chains you've
Wrapped around me.
What a wicked spell you weave.
You've made me such a
Lovesick fool.
My mind is not my own.
I only think straight when
You're not around.
But when you're near
And I can feel your touch,
I am no more than
Your slave.
If loving you were
A sin,
I still couldn't help myself.

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

the only one

2008-09-21T12:12:00.003-04:00

sometimes i wonder
if i'm the only one
who feels like
they're going crazy
if i'm the only one
who feels like
life's too hard
if i'm the only one
who feels like
they're worthless
if i'm the only one
who feels like
time's not on my side
if i'm the only one
who feels like
they're lost

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

apology

2008-09-20T18:32:00.006-04:00

oh my love
i'm sorry

i know it's not

your fault
i don't know
why i say such things
too late now
to take it back
too late to say
i'm sorry
but i'll say it
anyway

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

the tall men

2008-09-20T01:12:00.008-04:00

why do you come to me
only in the silence?
why do you never
show your faces?
i have tried to look
upon your face.
but my eyes slide away.
i have tried to understand
your words
but my mind cannot hear
the words you say.
those words that i knew
in another life.
did you really think
I would believe you angels?
and not know you
for what you
really are?
did you really think
i never studied
the old ways?
and never heard your name?
did you think
i would trust you
just because
you showed me the truth?
even the morning star
knew the truth.
even evil knows the truth.
what can you show me
that I do not already know?
what can you give me
that another cannot?
i know what you really are.

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

untitled

2008-09-20T01:00:00.006-04:00

it's no wonder that the shadow dwellers have been stalking
and that the tall men have been walking
with all that's unfolding
its frankly amazing
that i've slept at all
no, i haven't lost my faith
i just set it aside
(as i have often done)
until i can unravel in my mind what i heard
and decide if i can live with it
or if he finally pushed the line
too far
give me a few days
and i'll pick it back up again
but for now
the thoughts running through my mind
make it hard to be a christian
and the tall men
say it's not over
who am i to argue
with them?
so i listen
when they say to wait
when they say
he will show
his true colors soon
explore and learn, he says
but he is not facing them
talk to them, she says
but she is not facing
these things that whisper truth
yet hide from sight

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Another one that I'm not sure why I didn't publish...September 08

2008-09-20T00:44:00.005-04:00

How many times can
A person be hurt
Before they turn back
To the old ways
They once knew?
Before they once again
Become
Unfeeling,
Uncaring.
And whisper the words
They long ago denied?
Before they become
What they so long ignored?
Didn't I ever tell you
What happens
To those
Who hurt me?
You should have listened to me.

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Vision

2008-09-20T00:32:00.007-04:00

I saw the truth...
I saw beyond the stars...
I saw what others
Could not,
Would not,
See.
I saw what was beyond...
And somehow,
It made sense
That it was
Nothing.

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

From A Distance

2008-09-20T00:26:00.014-04:00

I guess my writing makes it
Easy to see
From the outside.
And so removed...
I wonder
Which is sadder?
The fact that I'm so desperate?
Or
The fact that you don't see it?

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

No More...

2008-09-20T00:19:00.010-04:00

I just wonder
What you'd think,
If you knew,
How many times
I regretted
Making that promise.
I really do love you...
But I really don't want
To be here anymore...
It just
Hurts too much.
I'm sorry.
But you shouldn't
Worry too much.
I was never
That brave
Anyway.

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Lust...

2008-09-20T00:07:00.007-04:00

Okay, you know I love you,
Right?
And that I'd never leave you,
Right?
I'd never cheat on you.
Honestly.
But seriously,
Between you and me,
If I heard that car outside
And he walked through the door,
What could I say
But
Paul who?

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Okay, private joke, a free pass kind of thing. If you don't get it, don't ask. LOL But if you're a visitor and you're curious...http://i135.photobucket.com/albums/q130/jMi_Jaded/Jensen%20Ackles/DeanImpalaSmirk-1.jpg *drools on page* Sorry....LOL

Shadows

2008-09-19T23:31:00.005-04:00

lock your doors
and stay inside tonight
for the night is dark and deep
and you have no idea
what lurks in the shadows
what peers in
through your windows
what watches you
as you walk
through your
brightly lit house
you have no idea what waits
with endless hunger
for you to step outside
lock your doors
and stay inside
the shadows have come alive
and they want
your heart

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Broken

2008-09-19T21:32:00.004-04:00

Damnit.
Everything keeps coming out
Wrong today.
I hate to feel
So out of sorts.
So off balance.
I hate these days.
They're so hard to
Fight through.
And it's almost not worth
Getting out of bed,
Or even breathing.
And all I want is
To cry until
It doesn't hurt anymore.

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Time

2008-09-19T21:20:00.009-04:00

Eleven years is a long time
To know someone,
To love someone,
And still not trust them;
Still not know the little things,
Like my favorite song,
My favorite book;
To still not understand
That sometimes I will be sad
No matter what you do;
And sometimes I will laugh
No matter how mad it makes you.

It's a long time to know me
And yet still not understand,
That no matter what you say or do,
There will always be times
That I must be alone.
There will always be places
Where you cannot follow.

Eleven years is a long time
Much too long
For me to ever expect
For you to change.

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

An Old Friend...

2008-09-19T12:07:00.024-04:00

That song came on the radio;
The one that always make me
Remember you.
And I wonder again,
If I'd been in the car...
If I'd gone that day...
Would you still have
Been playing around?
Would you still have
Been going so fast?
Or would you
Have slowed down?
Not wanting to scare me?
Would you have been
Watching the road
Because you cared more about your friends
Than you ever did yourself?
Everyone else says
It's just lucky I wasn't with you.
But I know better...

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Breakdown

2008-09-19T12:07:00.023-04:00

it hurts so much to remember
and it's all in a fog anyway...
yes, i know that i knew her,
and that i should remember him...
but it's all so fuzzy
in my mind...
i know everyone thinks
i'm getting old
before my time...
they make jokes and
laugh about it...
i can't put the names
to faces anymore...
i can't recall if
we were friends
or enemies
anymore...
i've forgotten
so much more
than i realized...
and i wonder if they
would still laugh about it
if they knew why...
it's so hard to
think straight
after
you've been broken...

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene

Reconsidered

2008-09-18T10:48:00.027-04:00

I looked in the mirror
This morning
Really looked
And for the first time
In a long time,
I liked what I saw.

I looked in your
Eyes today
I looked into your soul
And for the first time
In a long time,
There were no suspicions.

I thought about my life
About what I wanted
And what I had
And for the first time
In a long time,
I was happy with it.

I looked in the mirror
This morning
Really looked
And for the first time
In a long time,
I liked what I saw.

© 1991-2009 Samantha Greene